Dedication:
To my mommy and daddy
And magnificent editors,
Christina and Nina
Preface
I personally, do my best work at home in my small, cozy room. It’s the best when I’m alone in the house because then, there’s total silence in the house. I get easily annoyed and irritated when I’m working on my homework even by the sound of foot steps in the house. How I do my most inspired work is a secret, but since this is my first poetry portfolio ever made, I’ll tell you. It might be hard to believe, but before I write, I have the outline of the writing piece in my head. I always seem to have an electronic organizer mentally. I usually get my ideas from comic strips on newspapers, story I heard my friends, and just my wild imaginations. The unexpected ideas I think of during my recreation time, are the best. I have to tell you that best ideas come when you are in a good mood.
My mom inspires me. Since when I was in fourth grade, my mom helped me through with my writing assignments. After I write a draft, she would always read it and tell suggestions of how I can improve my essay. I’ve always and still wonder where she gets all her ideas from. I’ve never read any of her stories, but by the way she looks at a writing piece, I could tell that she’s a good writer. She always asks five question to herself: who, what, where, when, and why. One of the most important facts is that she read and still reads numerous amounts of books. Even though I’m a writer, I hate to read. Sorry, but that’s the truth.
I value the chance that I have to express to people, who I am, in the writing process. What’s so amazing about the writing process in that you can write about anything you want. Out of all the ideas, I get to choose an idea that I like the most and write about it in detail. I think that writing is so unlimited, giving everyone in the world a chance to try.
This year, I have learned so much about the six traits in writing. For ideas, instead of writing another boring story, I got to try new types of writings like process essay and many types of poems. Even though I had hard time during the process, it introduced me into new ways we can write about the world. In writing, I never knew that the voice could be so significant. I thought that people read because a paper got many words on it. I also learned that the word choice affects the voice and that the voice is one of the major reasons why people read certain books. For example, some of my friends prefer an enthusiastic, happy-ending story while other friends prefer negative, sad-ending stories. By using the skills in convention, I was able to expand and improve more on my voice. Especially, exclamation marks and commas made huge difference in my writing. In the poems, it was hard to determine where to put the punctuation marks, but as I read them aloud, it helped me a lot. Reading aloud also helped me to improve on fluency and voice.
And magnificent editors,
Christina and Nina
Preface
I personally, do my best work at home in my small, cozy room. It’s the best when I’m alone in the house because then, there’s total silence in the house. I get easily annoyed and irritated when I’m working on my homework even by the sound of foot steps in the house. How I do my most inspired work is a secret, but since this is my first poetry portfolio ever made, I’ll tell you. It might be hard to believe, but before I write, I have the outline of the writing piece in my head. I always seem to have an electronic organizer mentally. I usually get my ideas from comic strips on newspapers, story I heard my friends, and just my wild imaginations. The unexpected ideas I think of during my recreation time, are the best. I have to tell you that best ideas come when you are in a good mood.
My mom inspires me. Since when I was in fourth grade, my mom helped me through with my writing assignments. After I write a draft, she would always read it and tell suggestions of how I can improve my essay. I’ve always and still wonder where she gets all her ideas from. I’ve never read any of her stories, but by the way she looks at a writing piece, I could tell that she’s a good writer. She always asks five question to herself: who, what, where, when, and why. One of the most important facts is that she read and still reads numerous amounts of books. Even though I’m a writer, I hate to read. Sorry, but that’s the truth.
I value the chance that I have to express to people, who I am, in the writing process. What’s so amazing about the writing process in that you can write about anything you want. Out of all the ideas, I get to choose an idea that I like the most and write about it in detail. I think that writing is so unlimited, giving everyone in the world a chance to try.
This year, I have learned so much about the six traits in writing. For ideas, instead of writing another boring story, I got to try new types of writings like process essay and many types of poems. Even though I had hard time during the process, it introduced me into new ways we can write about the world. In writing, I never knew that the voice could be so significant. I thought that people read because a paper got many words on it. I also learned that the word choice affects the voice and that the voice is one of the major reasons why people read certain books. For example, some of my friends prefer an enthusiastic, happy-ending story while other friends prefer negative, sad-ending stories. By using the skills in convention, I was able to expand and improve more on my voice. Especially, exclamation marks and commas made huge difference in my writing. In the poems, it was hard to determine where to put the punctuation marks, but as I read them aloud, it helped me a lot. Reading aloud also helped me to improve on fluency and voice.
Concrete Poem: The Truth Behind Cheerleaders
Fist Fist
Fist Energized Fist
Energized
Stiff Excited Excited Stiff
Stiff Happy Happy Stiff
Sweat Happy Happy Sweat
Sweat Smile Smile Sweat
Tight Smile Smile Tight
Sore Gulp Sore
SORE Gulp SORE
Fear Fear
Nervous Shake Nervous
Tremble ICE Tremble
PUMP pump PUMP
Scared Pump Scared
Swirls Swirls Swirls
Sick Grouchy Sick
Cold Chilly Cold Chilly
Vibrate Tremble Vibrate
Sensitive Ache Sensitive
Flutter Swish Flutter Swish
Flirt Wink Flirt Wink Flirt Wink
Straight Straight
Straight Straight
Strong Strong
Strong Strong
Tight Tight
Tight Tight
Chilly Chilly
Chilly Chilly
Sore Sore
Tiptoe Tiptoe
Tiptoe Tiptoe
Warm Warm
Moist Moist
H O T H O T
Fist Energized Fist
Energized
Stiff Excited Excited Stiff
Stiff Happy Happy Stiff
Sweat Happy Happy Sweat
Sweat Smile Smile Sweat
Tight Smile Smile Tight
Sore Gulp Sore
SORE Gulp SORE
Fear Fear
Nervous Shake Nervous
Tremble ICE Tremble
PUMP pump PUMP
Scared Pump Scared
Swirls Swirls Swirls
Sick Grouchy Sick
Cold Chilly Cold Chilly
Vibrate Tremble Vibrate
Sensitive Ache Sensitive
Flutter Swish Flutter Swish
Flirt Wink Flirt Wink Flirt Wink
Straight Straight
Straight Straight
Strong Strong
Strong Strong
Tight Tight
Tight Tight
Chilly Chilly
Chilly Chilly
Sore Sore
Tiptoe Tiptoe
Tiptoe Tiptoe
Warm Warm
Moist Moist
H O T H O T
Self Assessment: "The Truth Behind Cheerleaders"
Reading my poem, “The Truth Behind Cheerleaders”, resembled me of the games I cheered for. The adjectives described the exact emotions that I felt during the game. I think I did okay on the word choice. I liked how I put the word “Ice” in the middle of the heart. The word “Ice” was simple, but there was deep meaning to it. Ice made me think of the moment when my first game started. My voice was shaking and my heart beat was just abnormal. The “Ice” started to melt, calming my nervousness, as the time passed. One improvement that I can make would be changing some of the words into more descriptive words. For example, I can change the word “excited” to energized.
I think my message is clear and focused, telling the audience the truth. My poem told everything, every emotion you might have while cheering for basketball players. I liked how I gave a twist in the middle of the poem: “Flirt Wink Flirt Wink Flirt Wink.” Instead of talking about all the sores and pain I have while cheering, the twist seemed to attract more readers, making them to laugh.
Because concrete poem had to have a certain shape, I couldn’t do much with my convention. I think the spacing was good.
I think my voice need some improvement. There’s enthusiasm, but it doesn’t sound like I have a confidant voice. I think adding some capital letters to emphasize some words could really improve the voice.
I think I did well on the organization. When was writing my draft, I put the words in the order in which I felt
Good job, I think I should read the poem aloud once a gain to make sure that there’s no more mistakes.
I think my message is clear and focused, telling the audience the truth. My poem told everything, every emotion you might have while cheering for basketball players. I liked how I gave a twist in the middle of the poem: “Flirt Wink Flirt Wink Flirt Wink.” Instead of talking about all the sores and pain I have while cheering, the twist seemed to attract more readers, making them to laugh.
Because concrete poem had to have a certain shape, I couldn’t do much with my convention. I think the spacing was good.
I think my voice need some improvement. There’s enthusiasm, but it doesn’t sound like I have a confidant voice. I think adding some capital letters to emphasize some words could really improve the voice.
I think I did well on the organization. When was writing my draft, I put the words in the order in which I felt
Good job, I think I should read the poem aloud once a gain to make sure that there’s no more mistakes.
Sound Poem: The Passing Time
Swish! Thump! Stomp!
Behind the beige and yellow door,
You can hear assiduous students’ foot steps.
Rushing in from the chase of the bell,
There’s an egg stuck in their throat.
I’m not sure if they are breathing.
When you hold their hand,
You can feel their heart sprinting.
BUMP! Bump! BUMP! Bump!
The clock devouring every second,
Tick! Tock! Tick! Tock!
Precious break time passes.
In the classroom next door,
You can hear artists hurrying
Slapping a chunk of paint on the canvas
Downstairs, musicians are tuning,
Dong! Fee! Boom! Clash!
Right before the class begins.
Behind the beige and yellow door,
You can hear assiduous students’ foot steps.
Rushing in from the chase of the bell,
There’s an egg stuck in their throat.
I’m not sure if they are breathing.
When you hold their hand,
You can feel their heart sprinting.
BUMP! Bump! BUMP! Bump!
The clock devouring every second,
Tick! Tock! Tick! Tock!
Precious break time passes.
In the classroom next door,
You can hear artists hurrying
Slapping a chunk of paint on the canvas
Downstairs, musicians are tuning,
Dong! Fee! Boom! Clash!
Right before the class begins.
Narrative Poem: Relaxtion
pump pump pump
Everyone is calm and peaceful,
No need to worry about fears,
Have a sip of Cappuccino.
Is a cup of jasmine tea a better choice?
Sit on a comfy, cozy chair in the middle of the living room.
Relax.
PUMP PUMP PUMP PUMP PUMP
Everybody is trembling in fear for bloodcurdling test.
Cold air rushes through pallid faces of students.
Be aware your stomach might shrink.
One, two, three….begin!
Tack! Tack! Tack! Tack!
All the pencils in the classroom are attacking the paper.
Three, two, one….stop!
It’s over.
Relax.
Everyone is calm and peaceful,
No need to worry about fears,
Have a sip of Cappuccino.
Is a cup of jasmine tea a better choice?
Sit on a comfy, cozy chair in the middle of the living room.
Relax.
PUMP PUMP PUMP PUMP PUMP
Everybody is trembling in fear for bloodcurdling test.
Cold air rushes through pallid faces of students.
Be aware your stomach might shrink.
One, two, three….begin!
Tack! Tack! Tack! Tack!
All the pencils in the classroom are attacking the paper.
Three, two, one….stop!
It’s over.
Relax.
Self Assessment: "Relaxation"
I think my idea was clear and focused. I was able to vividly imagine two different situations. The first stanza can be summarized as a description of a calm situation. The second stanza was about the opposite situation of the first stanza; it talked about a desperate, nervous moment while taking a test. I liked how I repeated the word “Relax” at the end of each stanza. Every time I read the poem, I smiled of the word “relax” because even though the words were same, the feeling in each word was different.
My conventions were okay. While writing this draft, I wasn’t sure about how to use the punctuation. To make a better poem, I can try to add punctuation marks and see if the sentence makes sense. For some lines, maybe I think adding periods might help to improve the voice and convention.
I think my organization was good. The way how I explained the calm situation first, grabbed the reader’s attention. It made me want to read more. I liked how I put my first line of each stanza with the sound of heartbeats. If the audience haven’t noticed, the heartbeat pace and the loudness differs in each stanza.
My voice was very enthusiastic. When I read the poem aloud, I noticed how my tone changed according to my words. On my first stanza, my reading pace was normal, but as I started to read the second stanza, I read faster and my voice got stronger. My word choice was original and precise. I used adjectives such as “bloodcurdling” to describe every bit of feeling.
My conventions were okay. While writing this draft, I wasn’t sure about how to use the punctuation. To make a better poem, I can try to add punctuation marks and see if the sentence makes sense. For some lines, maybe I think adding periods might help to improve the voice and convention.
I think my organization was good. The way how I explained the calm situation first, grabbed the reader’s attention. It made me want to read more. I liked how I put my first line of each stanza with the sound of heartbeats. If the audience haven’t noticed, the heartbeat pace and the loudness differs in each stanza.
My voice was very enthusiastic. When I read the poem aloud, I noticed how my tone changed according to my words. On my first stanza, my reading pace was normal, but as I started to read the second stanza, I read faster and my voice got stronger. My word choice was original and precise. I used adjectives such as “bloodcurdling” to describe every bit of feeling.
Process Poem: How to Enjoy Washing Your Hair
Go into a pristine, white bathroom
Take a giant, bunny step toward the tub
Little more to the right, closer to the shower head
Are you ready?
Reach to the glistening shower head
And adjust the water temperature with a tip of your tiny pinky
Bend your back straight to ninety degrees
Poise the shower head on your head
Your hair is getting heavier and heavier
Devouring every single drop of H2O
Freeze!
Feel the tickles behind your wet ears
Streams of water sprinting aggressively down to your chin
Pump up two squeezes of Pantene shampoo on to your right palm
A hand full of creamy, pearl-colored shampoo!
Rub the fruity shampoo onto your wet hair
Scrub your head wildly like dogs scratching their ears
Sweet, bubble gum-like, fruity scent
Something like blossoming flowers stirred with ripened fruits
Massage your exhausted scalp thoroughly
Puffy foams in between your chubby fingers
Blow them and they’ll fly like balloons
Snatch a small, plastic comb from your shower basket
Gradually, untangle your hair
Feel each strand of silky, smooth hair as it sooths out
Squeeze out all the fluffy foams in your hair
Foams pop away in the tremendous, snow-white tub
Splash lukewarm water on to your bubbly, lathered hair
Watch as the rollercoaster of foams rush down the drain
When tiny bubbles are no where to be found
Your mission has been successfully accomplished
Ready for one more round?
Take a giant, bunny step toward the tub
Little more to the right, closer to the shower head
Are you ready?
Reach to the glistening shower head
And adjust the water temperature with a tip of your tiny pinky
Bend your back straight to ninety degrees
Poise the shower head on your head
Your hair is getting heavier and heavier
Devouring every single drop of H2O
Freeze!
Feel the tickles behind your wet ears
Streams of water sprinting aggressively down to your chin
Pump up two squeezes of Pantene shampoo on to your right palm
A hand full of creamy, pearl-colored shampoo!
Rub the fruity shampoo onto your wet hair
Scrub your head wildly like dogs scratching their ears
Sweet, bubble gum-like, fruity scent
Something like blossoming flowers stirred with ripened fruits
Massage your exhausted scalp thoroughly
Puffy foams in between your chubby fingers
Blow them and they’ll fly like balloons
Snatch a small, plastic comb from your shower basket
Gradually, untangle your hair
Feel each strand of silky, smooth hair as it sooths out
Squeeze out all the fluffy foams in your hair
Foams pop away in the tremendous, snow-white tub
Splash lukewarm water on to your bubbly, lathered hair
Watch as the rollercoaster of foams rush down the drain
When tiny bubbles are no where to be found
Your mission has been successfully accomplished
Ready for one more round?
Villanelle: House on Fire
Please stop following,
You are not a firefighter, Chris,
Smoke is wallowing.
The house is hollowing,
I’m not responsible for this,
Please stop following.
The fire is swallowing,
This is the truth. It is.
Smoke is wallowing.
Flame plowing,
The house is lack of bliss,
Please stop following.
People are following,
With water, the fire will hiss,
Please stop following,
Smoke is wallowing.
You are not a firefighter, Chris,
Smoke is wallowing.
The house is hollowing,
I’m not responsible for this,
Please stop following.
The fire is swallowing,
This is the truth. It is.
Smoke is wallowing.
Flame plowing,
The house is lack of bliss,
Please stop following.
People are following,
With water, the fire will hiss,
Please stop following,
Smoke is wallowing.
Self Assessment: " House on Fire"
When I read my poem, I suddenly got scared. I imagined a scenery: a kid trapped in a burning house. I think the idea was very random because my four other poems were about something that could happen in our daily life. I think I should change line two. The line sounded like as if Chris wanted to jump into the fire. I think I should change that line into something like “You are not a firefighter,” to make my message more clear.
The voice was enthusiastic in a negative way, describing a scary scene. I think my word choice affected my voice a lot. When I was looking for words rhyming with –lowing, I was only able to find words with definition relating to swallowing, and wiping out. I think that due to this, my poem was about fire swallowing up the house.
My word choice was okay. The words rhymed well. I think that young students like elementary and middle students will have no trouble trying to understand the poem.
I think I need to work on putting punctuation at the end of each line. For majority of the lines, I need to put commas to let the reader know where to rest. Since there were no commas, the reading pace was undetermined.
I think my organization was good. I couldn’t do much with the order in which I put the lines due to villanelle pattern, but the poem seemed flow well. I liked how my poem kept the visual of fire eating the house through out the whole poem.
I think that with minor touch-ups, my poem will be ready to publish.
The voice was enthusiastic in a negative way, describing a scary scene. I think my word choice affected my voice a lot. When I was looking for words rhyming with –lowing, I was only able to find words with definition relating to swallowing, and wiping out. I think that due to this, my poem was about fire swallowing up the house.
My word choice was okay. The words rhymed well. I think that young students like elementary and middle students will have no trouble trying to understand the poem.
I think I need to work on putting punctuation at the end of each line. For majority of the lines, I need to put commas to let the reader know where to rest. Since there were no commas, the reading pace was undetermined.
I think my organization was good. I couldn’t do much with the order in which I put the lines due to villanelle pattern, but the poem seemed flow well. I liked how my poem kept the visual of fire eating the house through out the whole poem.
I think that with minor touch-ups, my poem will be ready to publish.
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